Tuesday 2 December 2014

AND THEN, POOF, IT WAS DECEMBER

Holy shit, time has gone by crazy fast. I remember arriving in MUWCI again in August this year. I walked into a completely empty, cold and depressing room. I wanted to take a shower but couldn't find any of my towels. I wanted to bursh my teeth but couldn't find my toothbrush. I went to lie down and my skin started itching again immediately. So I started crying and messaged me best friend at home. I finally fell asleep at 5 AM.

And now here I am. I am sitting in the room of one of my dearest friends, who knows me through and through. In 20 minutes, we are going to "do Christmas", which means gathering with a bunch of friends, playing Christmas music, eating cake with cinnamon (because what is more Christmas than cinnamon?) and making Christmas decorations, all together in a room with fairylights all over (for those who are not familiar with the concept - it is the kind of thing we put in our Christmas trees at home, but is used as conventional lighting here in MUWCI). I am pretty happy with all this pre-Christmasing, because I won't get to celebrate the real Christmas this year. I am not going home for winterbreak, but will be staying. Luckily, my family is coming over. The next time I will see Belgium again, is in May. 3 months done, six months to go... Aiaiai!

It is probably time for some self-reflection, some deep hippie thoughts and stuff. However, we're not given that opportunity. It's funny, because I've thought a million times that it is impossible to have more 'to do' things than at that moment, but every time again, that statement becomes invalid the next week. It's like climbing a mountain thinking it's the highest one on Earth, and that it will be the biggest achievement of your life to climb this mountain. But then once you've climbed all the way up, you see that there is another mountain which is even higher. And it goes on and on and on.

This term has been the hardest term in MUWCI, and probably also the hardest term of my life (lol, can you say that? I can I guess). But also the term in which I learned most about myself. I just feel like I've become so much more aware of practically everything, and of myself mostly. I know who I am, or at least who I'm not. I know what I want, or at least what I don't want. In MUWCI, you slowly strip away the parts of yourself which you are not, until you become exactly who you want to be. And you're not afraid to show that anymore. That's something that bothers me a lot back home: people don't dare to be themselves, but cover under this coat through which no one can see what they are. Consequently, they have no personality anymore, and adapt to any situation given. Am I being too philosophical? Well, my philosophy teacher would be happy, at least. Even though I didn't refer to any known philosopher... Oops!

Recently, I was asked by our college guidance counselor what my reason for coming to UWC was. I applied expecting to get to know people from everywhere, doing some volunteering etc. I got so much more out of it! A whole new world opened to me (I know I probably wrote this in every second blogpost, but I can't help its relevance to this situation!). I realized that it's not about getting to know people from everywhere, it's more about what kind of ideas all these people have, and what we can do with them. Kurt Hahn's idea was not to bring together a group of nationalistic teenagers, but to bring children from everywhere, to make them realize how everyone is actually kind of the same, to look beyond background.

At first, I thought UWC would be perfect. The utpoia, the place where everything which you couldn't imagine to be true, was true. Maybe the typically high expectations of a 15 year old girl, but the UWC advertisements also give a sugar-coated image. There is a lot to improve in this movement, but that doesn't make it any less beautiful.

In my planner, I wrote in big letters "TIME FOR A BREAKDOWN" in the "What's on your mind?" section for this week. True that, third term is over in less than ten days. Holy shizzle. How can I have reached this point soooo quickly? 3/4 done. "One more time, we're gona celebrate".

Hopefully. I need to study now!
Peace and love!