The cracks in the wall of my corner are signs of those who've been here before me. Evening blue, sky blue, woven white and harsh red. That's as far as it goes, my presence in the room remains visible for the four next generations but then I am gone and so are those before me.
Outside the window there's a tree which so delightfully makes the sun twinkle in my eyes when I sit on my bed at around 4.30 pm. I've spent a lot of times sitting on my bed at around 4.30 pm with the sun twinkling in my eyes, trying to finish the endless essays, internal assessments, labs.
Endless? No, not endless. The endlessness has come to an end last night when I submitted my final IB assessments. All there's left now is 5 subjects, 11 papers and 48 days of waking up by the sound of my roommate's alarm and contemplating whether or not the walk to the caf is worth the food, sitting at my desk full of ambition and half an hour later sinking under my bedsheets again because "I will be more productive after a half-an-hour nap", waking up and taking a shower because "I will be more productive after taking a shower" and then it's twelve so I cook for myself because "I will be more productive after a good meal".
At three I make myself some coffee as I have finally gotten a grip of that philosophical idea. I listen to the melody of his thoughtful poetry.
"Tu pourras m'dire tout ce que tu veux. Sous tes fous rires et tes grand airs. C'est pas la peine. Tu peux mentir à qui tu veux, tu souris trop pour être heureux. Tu m'fais d'la peine. Je t'aime quand même, moi. Je suis pas tes potes, ni ton boss ou tes collègues, moi. Tu m'prend vraiment pour un con. Tu crois que tu m'endors. Mais même derrière ton masque, tes cernes en parlent encore."
It's scary how much the lyrics apply to MUWCI. Beneath all the lies, all the smiles and the aura of elitism always surrounding us. You smile too much to be happy.
Trueness. Ambition. Appreciation. Calmness. Openness. What's the most important quality to have?
I know my friends by their OCD tendencies and the way they like to sleep. The way they walk when they're stressed and how they sweep their hair when they are tired. What they like to have for breakfast, their favourite tea. The grooves on their face when they wake up in the morning. The expression in their eyes when we finally meet again after not seeing each other for 30 hours. The sorrow in their posture when a politician back home made another racist comment. Whether they take the effort to change into pyamas at night. How much hair oil they put after a shower.
To my coyears, I ask: when was the last time you sat next to the pool with an icecream from the coffeeshop? When was the last time you climbed internet hill and saw the contrast between green and yellowbrown? When was the last time you saw a child smile? When was the last time you openly criticized the admin? When was the last time you said something politically incorrect? When was the last time you wanted to change the world?
It's been a while.
Outside the window there's a tree which so delightfully makes the sun twinkle in my eyes when I sit on my bed at around 4.30 pm. I've spent a lot of times sitting on my bed at around 4.30 pm with the sun twinkling in my eyes, trying to finish the endless essays, internal assessments, labs.
Endless? No, not endless. The endlessness has come to an end last night when I submitted my final IB assessments. All there's left now is 5 subjects, 11 papers and 48 days of waking up by the sound of my roommate's alarm and contemplating whether or not the walk to the caf is worth the food, sitting at my desk full of ambition and half an hour later sinking under my bedsheets again because "I will be more productive after a half-an-hour nap", waking up and taking a shower because "I will be more productive after taking a shower" and then it's twelve so I cook for myself because "I will be more productive after a good meal".
At three I make myself some coffee as I have finally gotten a grip of that philosophical idea. I listen to the melody of his thoughtful poetry.
"Tu pourras m'dire tout ce que tu veux. Sous tes fous rires et tes grand airs. C'est pas la peine. Tu peux mentir à qui tu veux, tu souris trop pour être heureux. Tu m'fais d'la peine. Je t'aime quand même, moi. Je suis pas tes potes, ni ton boss ou tes collègues, moi. Tu m'prend vraiment pour un con. Tu crois que tu m'endors. Mais même derrière ton masque, tes cernes en parlent encore."
It's scary how much the lyrics apply to MUWCI. Beneath all the lies, all the smiles and the aura of elitism always surrounding us. You smile too much to be happy.
Trueness. Ambition. Appreciation. Calmness. Openness. What's the most important quality to have?
I know my friends by their OCD tendencies and the way they like to sleep. The way they walk when they're stressed and how they sweep their hair when they are tired. What they like to have for breakfast, their favourite tea. The grooves on their face when they wake up in the morning. The expression in their eyes when we finally meet again after not seeing each other for 30 hours. The sorrow in their posture when a politician back home made another racist comment. Whether they take the effort to change into pyamas at night. How much hair oil they put after a shower.
To my coyears, I ask: when was the last time you sat next to the pool with an icecream from the coffeeshop? When was the last time you climbed internet hill and saw the contrast between green and yellowbrown? When was the last time you saw a child smile? When was the last time you openly criticized the admin? When was the last time you said something politically incorrect? When was the last time you wanted to change the world?
It's been a while.
Hi! I've read your blog from the start. It's what made me apply at UWC but, I did not get in! Im okay with it though.all I want to say is that Your blog posts are amazing. I've seen how you've evolved as a writer! There's this huge change between the style of writing in your first post and your latest one!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck with your future endeavours :)
Hey there, thank you so much! It really means a lot when people tell me my blog influenced them in some way :) I'm sorry you didn't get in, but I'm sure you'll have some other great opportunities coming your way. Good luck :)
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